


The Name Ryan Ross

by st0rrm



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: F/M, M/M, i dont even fucking ship ryden why the hell did i write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 07:24:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4697306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/st0rrm/pseuds/st0rrm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The name Ryan Ross leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Name Ryan Ross

**Author's Note:**

> i dont ship ryden. why did i write this
> 
> also this is a fuckign drabble fite me

The name Ryan Ross leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

The name Ryan Ross leaves him a little breathless, and maybe even a little shaky depending on the day.

Certain dates, times of the year, and certain weather patterns reminds him of Ryan Ross.

His fans bringing up Ryan Ross upsets him, and sometimes he even gets angry.

The name Ryan Ross reminds him of all the bittersweet memories involving the boy.

The name Ryan Ross sparks a series of self-loathing thoughts that make him question why the hell he couldn't have made it work out, and why the hell he couldn't get Ryan to stick around.

The name Ryan Ross reminds him of the one time he cried about it; the moment he realized that whatever bond they'd had was gone, and that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fix it.

The name Ryan Ross always plants a small little urge to pick up the phone and dial the older man's number, and sometimes he's even had the number typed out, but he can never hit call. (Honestly, he doesn't even know if Ryan still has his number saved.)

The name Ryan Ross makes him feel guilty. He thinks about how he should solely love Sarah, and how he should be over Ryan. Sarah understands though; she tells him it's okay to still love Ryan, and that considering what they had, it was to be expected anyways. 

There's some part of him that will always love Ryan Ross, and there's parts of him that feel nothing but resentment and hatred towards Ryan. There's also parts of him that desperately want the man back in his life, to live happily ever after, but there's also parts of him that want nothing to do with Ryan Ross.

The name Ryan Ross will probably always leave a bitter taste in his mouth. Maybe one day they'll be able to be friends again, and maybe one day he'll be able to hit that call button, and maybe one day the name won't feel like poison.


End file.
